I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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