I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
