Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.

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(518): View more from New York

Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife

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