But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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