We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize