i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
