Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize