i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize