she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
