so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
