She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
