so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
