Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dicks are not precious.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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