woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
