I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
