Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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