i will never coherently bang her
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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