she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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