after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
