A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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