kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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