either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My hand turned me down
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
