Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
