Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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