Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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