Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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