sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize