I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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