I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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