How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
