I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
