I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
