Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
