we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
