Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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