we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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