Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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