Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
