I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
