Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
