my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
