After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
