apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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