tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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