When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
