I'm jealous of your bromance
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
