It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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