do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
