oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
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I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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