i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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