Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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