so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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