i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
