**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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