It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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