WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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