she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
