i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
