Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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