i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
