Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
