Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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