Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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