how can u be prego again
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
