Duck Duck Cougar?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
