You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
