At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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