Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize