Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
