i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
