Tell her she can't have a vagina
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
