great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
