remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
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You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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